Category: Faith

Connie, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and can do the work she has left to do.

There Is Work to Be Done, but I Can Do It

There Is Work to Be Done, but I Can Do It

There Is Work to Be Done, but I Can Do It

This is probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to write. I’ve contemplated for days on how to adequately express myself. I have struggled with deciding to say anything at all, but I would feel like a horrible, selfish, ungrateful person if I kept it to myself.

I was given the opportunity to go to the Saprea Retreat.

This past year has been one of my hardest yet. Why my mind remembered things I haven’t remembered in 20+ years baffled me. It made everything else I had to deal with seem unbearable. I could feel myself eroding away back into a shell of myself, and I didn’t want to be there again. So even though, I was petrified to go, I went.

I attended many classes that explained the different ways our bodies and brains change after trauma, all sorts of trauma, which I’ve had more than my fair share of. I learned that for all the times I’ve been called weird, questioned why I can’t sleep, why I did this, why I don’t do that, and why I felt crazy, had a reason. Those things were normal for trauma survivors, and that some things can change.

I cried a lot. I laughed a lot. I also got angry for allowing myself to feel this way for so long. I was finally able to say things out loud that I’ve never said to anyone. It’s impossible for me to explain how healing it is to just be honest even if what you have to say is “terrible.” I made friends that I’ll always cherish, and we continue to support each other.

I received the purest form of unconditional love, kindness, and understanding from complete strangers. It completely overwhelmed me because I never have thought I was worth very much.

Most importantly I learned to accept that I do deserve to be happy, that I am worth something, and that I am not alone. I can honestly say, it saved my life. I’m not “fixed” or “cured.” I have a lot of work to do, but I know I can do more than exist.

-Connie, Survivor

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The Younique Foundation's 2016 Top 10 Blogs for Survivors

The Younique Foundation’s 2016 Top 10 Blogs for Survivors

The Younique Foundation’s 2016 Top 10 Blogs for Survivors

The Younique Foundation had an amazing 2016. We were able to connect with so many survivors. Our blog is one of the key ways we do that. So here, in case you missed them, are our top 10 blogs for survivors.

  1. 5 Stages to Finding Healing explores how the five stages of grief are tied to the five stages of healing.
  2. The Relationship Between Addiction and Trauma discusses how childhood trauma can lead to addiction.
  3. Win the Fight Through Mindfulness explains how Mindfulness can help on your healing journey.
  4. The Effect Trauma Has on Your Brain explains how trauma can alter the way that your brain works.
  5. Your Brain and Trauma is another look at how trauma can literally change the way that your brain functions.
  6. The Forgotten Survivor is a guest blog written by The Younique Foundation’s Executive Director, Chris Yadon.
  7. I Get Triggered and That is Okay is a guest blog written by The Younique Foundation’s Image Coordinator, Annie Vandermyde.
  8. 8 Healing Books for Sexual Abuse Survivors is a list of books that any survivor can benefit from reading.
  9. Yoga: A Way to Find Healing for Trauma Survivors explains the great benefits that trauma-sensitive yoga can have on a survivor. It also includes a video that you can watch and try at home.
  10. The 5 Strategies to Reclaim Hope after Trauma gives a definition of each of our 5 Strategies to Reclaim Hope.

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The Forgotten Survivor

The Forgotten Survivor

Guest blog post written by Chris Yadon, Executive Director at The Younique Foundation

She is your sister, your neighbor, your coworker; maybe your mom or daughter. She is a survivor of child sexual abuse, and she is forgotten by most. She keeps her abuse to herself because she feels shame or doesn’t feel safe enough to share it. In fact, she may not even tell you she is a survivor no matter how close you are to her. She is the “forgotten” survivor.

But she is not forgotten to us.

Your gift can support survivors and help them Reclaim Hope.

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I love the work we do at The Younique Foundation and, because of that work, I often find myself in situations where people are genuinely interested in what we do. The conversation is predictable and usually goes something like this:

Person: What do you do at The Younique Foundation?

Me: We get to help survivors of child sexual abuse find healing.

Person: So you work with kids?

Me: No. We get to help adult women who were sexually abused as children.

Person: Oh, so you run a women’s shelter?

Me: Not quite. The women we work with are not typically in crisis mode. They are high-functioning women who are successful in life, but are still dealing with the trauma they experienced as children.

The conversation continues as I share the great work we do at The Younique Foundation and how we help women. Our approach is intriguing because what we do is different—something many have not considered before.

Many communities have services for women in crisis or children in crisis, but very few have services for the “forgotten” survivor—the woman who was abused as a child but never quite got the help she needed. This “forgotten” survivor has learned to be successful despite her trauma. She appears to be healthy and happy, but there may still be a storm raging on the inside that is silently tearing her apart. Because she appears to be doing well and, in fact, is doing well in many aspects of her life, many people don’t see that she may need help. In essence, she is forgotten.

At The Younique Foundation, we know it is never too late to heal. We are proud to tell the “forgotten” survivor that she is NOT forgotten and we are here to help—that now is a great time to heal. Through The Haven Retreat and our online services, she can find tools that help her find healing while she continues to succeed in her busy life, her career, and her relationships. She doesn’t have time to stop her world while she heals. She needs a simple guide and simple tools to implement that will help her heal along the way.

That is exactly what we do at The Younique Foundation. We are proud to serve the “forgotten” survivor. She is not forgotten anymore.

Guest Blog Written By Chris Yadon

Chris Yadon

Chris Yadon currently serves as the Executive Director at The Younique Foundation. Most of his professional career has been in start-up executive management with an emphasis in operations, marketing, and sales. Chris is grateful to be the father of three boys and three girls that range from 3 to 20 years. He has been married to his wife, Christy, for 21 years and enjoys learning how to love others through her example. When there is free time, Chris loves to be on the lake, take occasional ski days, and kick box - a recently found passion.

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Melissa, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and this is who she is, not who she was.

This Is Who I Am. It’s Not Who I Was.

This is Who I Am. It's Not Who I Was.

This is Who I Am. It's Not Who I Was.

This is who I am. It’s not who I was.

They say the first step in healing is the hardest. Mine began with a challenge, a song, and a video. A video telling my story for the first time ever so that someone else would have the ability to attend the Saprea Retreat, something I didn’t think I deserved. A video that I thought only a few would see. I couldn’t have anticipated what the ripple would be or how far it would spread.

Six months later, I decided that I had ignored my calling to help people for my entire life. But I knew I couldn’t help others until I had faced the darkness that resided in me from a past I had spent a lifetime hiding from. I knew the only place I could start that part of my journey was in the same place that challenged me to do a video¬—Saprea.

What I got there can’t be described in words. When you have spent a lifetime living with the darkness inside of you and it finally let’s go, you have a freedom like none you’ve ever experienced. I found that there. I had never been the little girl that danced in the rain. It wasn’t about remembering someone I had never been. It was about becoming her.

The Saprea Retreat is where I found the part of me that had always been missing. I formed bonds that distance can not break. I learned to trust again. I learned new habits and skills that will allow me to go forward and be a beacon of hope for others.

Today, I own my story. While I don’t wish what happened to me on anyone else and I will continue to raise awareness to fight this horrible reality, this is my story. It is who I am. It made me who I am. Someone else may have written the first chapter in my story, but it’s mine and I get to decide how it ends. At the Saprea Retreat, I realized for the first time ever that I kinda like this me.

-Melissa, Survivor

Interested in Attending Saprea Retreat?

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Positive Affirmations to Reclaim Hope

Positive Affirmations to Reclaim Hope

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For survivors of child sexual trauma, there can be a lot of shame and negative self-talk. That voice in your head can be pretty mean at times. An important part of healing and reclaiming hope is to be able to change that negative voice into your head into a more loving and positive voice.

One way to do that is through positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are sentences that you say to yourself to remind you of how amazing you are, how far you’ve come, and how capable you are to continue on your healing journey. Here are five ways to come up with our own positive affirmations:

01
START WITH A LIST
Make a list of positive things you want to see happen in your life. Be as vague or specific as you want, just write down the first things that come to mind.
02
CHOOSE ONE TO REPRESENT EACH ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE
Think of categories like Work, Family, Personal, Physical, Spiritual, etc. Find the most important aspects of your life and come up with one sentence from your list for each category.
03
WRITE THEM DOWN
Put them someplace where you'll see them and read them every day. The bathroom mirror may be a good place.
04
SAY THEM OUT LOUD
It may feel a little awkward at first but say them out loud with conviction. You’ll be surprised how empowering they can be.
05
KEEP THEM UP-TO-DATE
If one of yours is “I exercise for 30 minutes every day because my body deserves it” and you’ve made that a consistent habit, then replace it with a new one that expands on that.

Here are a few examples of positive declarations to get you started:

  • I love myself and I am amazing.

  • I am good at my job and am paid what I am worth.

  • I am a great mom and my children are fortunate to have me.

  • I have the strength to do the right thing.

  • I am grateful for this day and the many possibilities it affords.

  • I am a powerful and resourceful woman.

  • I am attracting positive and healthy people into my life.

  • I view challenges as opportunities to increase my wisdom and strength.

  • I can manage triggers in a healthy way.

  • I behave in ways that promote my health every day.

If you practice your positive declarations consistently, along with viewing your vision board and your future vision statement, you’ll be sending a consistent positive message to the limbic system in your brain (the part that drives behavior). You’ll be amazed at the results you see when you practice a little more positivity.

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Letters from Foundation President and Executive Director

Letter from Board Chair and President

 

Dear Friends,Screen Shot 2016-03-24 at 12.04.48 PM

One of the things I feel the most joy from in this work is hearing from past participants who are using the techniques they have learned at our retreats. I love when they share specific examples of using skills to manage their triggers. For example, I often hear about participants using mindful breathing techniques to ground themselves through difficult moments. It gives me a great sense of satisfaction to know that our work continues to help them long after they leave retreat. I also love knowing that we are helping to continue the dialogue to protect children against sexual abuse.  Every time I hear about a parent engaging in conversation with their child on the topic of sexual health, I feel even more determined to further this work.

At The Younique Foundation, we work to inspire hope in women who were sexually abused as children or adolescents by hosting them at a retreat, where they are uplifted by each other and learn skills that can help them find individual healing. In addition, we educate parents and empower them to protect their children from sexual abuse while leading a public dialogue to bring the epidemic of abuse to light.  For truly it is an epidemic.

In 2015, we hosted 103 women over 11 different retreats.  We held hundreds of outpatient therapy sessions.  We reached over 12 million people via social media, and we launched our education programs. What is truly remarkable is this all happened in the second half of 2015.

We have big plans for 2016.  We will host 720 women at our retreats.  We will provide thousands of outpatient therapy sessions.  Our education will reach thousands of parents and caregivers, and social initiatives will impact millions.

To say that we are grateful for the outpouring of support we have received is a tremendous understatement.  This work is so important and couldn’t be done without the help we receive through donors. We will continue to do all in our power to never let this discussion fade, ever.  Each and every voice that joins ours is a voice we are thankful for.

With Humility,

Shelaine Maxfield: Board Chair and President

 

Letter from Executive Director

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To Our Kind Supporters,

This last year was an amazing ride, and January 19th, 2015, will long be a day of significance in my life.  It was my first day as the first employee of The Younique Foundation.  I walked into an amazing vision, and I was given resources to make it happen.  Coming in, I knew how to build organizations, and I knew that building always starts with surrounding yourself with great people.  We were amazingly blessed with 12 talented, dedicated people ready to bring healing, education, and awareness to the world.

So what did we do in our first year?  We wrote a book, a workbook, launched two brands, launched six social media channels, hosted over 100 women at retreats, hosted hundreds of session of outpatient therapy, reached over 12 million through our messaging, raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, and prepared to exponentially grow all of our services in 2016.

So what’s to come in 2016?  We will host over 700 women at retreats, host thousands of sessions of outpatient therapy, reach millions through social media, educate thousands of parents and caregivers, augment our web and social channels with online education and therapeutic resources, and grow our staff to 33.

I am extremely grateful for your kind donations and your tremendous voice.  I consider myself a steward over your giving and will ensure that all of our resources are used wisely.

With Gratitude,

Chris Yadon: Executive Director

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