Tiffany, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and it was the best decision.

It Was the Best Decision I Have Made in My Life

“Did I make the right choice by coming here?” That is what was going through my head as I drove out to the Saprea Retreat. Going into this knowing that I was going to step out of my comfort zone and make that best out of this was scary. Looking back at it now I can tell you that it was the best decision I have made in my life!

Walking through those doors for the first time feeling so vulnerable yet safe and loved is something that I can not even describe. I knew instantly that I would be okay, and that I was going to get something so special out of this experience. This retreat gave me my life back! It did this by giving me the tools, the hope, and the strength that I needed to get through each day.

Thank you to Saprea for hosting this retreat and helping so many realize that they are not alone. You’re allowed to scream, you’re allowed to cry, but do not give up!

I will rise unafraid.

-Tiffany, Survivor

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Leilani, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and has come so far.

I’ve Come So Far and I’m Not Going Back

In a matter of a couple of years, I went from a woman who would have taken the secret of her abuse to her grave to the woman who did everything in her power to protect the little girl who never got her chance to fight or scream. After 15 years of not remembering my abuse, and another ten burying it, deciding to finally tell my parents was more than liberating. It was the catalyst to my healing.

The early stages of anger and rage I felt fueled my determination to fight for my inner child and do what she couldn’t do to protect herself at 4 years old.

Until I attended the Saprea Retreat, I never felt strong or worthy of happiness. Never.

Saprea changed all of that. Attending the retreat removed the cloud I was living under. It helped me understand trauma and realize I wasn’t alone. I was surrounded by complete strangers, but we were bonded together by our traumas and a deep understanding of the pain we all felt. No one needed to say anything, but I felt like every woman in that room knew my heart like no one ever has.

The Saprea Retreat wasn’t a quick fix. Those don’t exist. But it was an opportunity to rest, learn, and share in a very safe place. I learned I am strong. I am beautiful. I am worthy. And even though the journey to healing is long, hard and lots of work, I have the tools I need, and that’s dangerous in the hands of a woman who, as a child, has already survived hell on earth. I’ve come so far, and I’m not going back!

-Leilani, Survivor

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Jenny, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and learned it's okay to not be okay.

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

“It’s okay to not be okay.” Out of everything I learned at the Saprea Retreat, which was extensive, this quote has stayed with me. One of the most important things I learned was that I am not alone and that other women share my story.

Saprea helped me to realize that no matter how long it has been since my trauma that I can heal. I can get better, and it is okay to not be okay. I am no longer a product of my trauma. I am a survivor.

I can’t thank Saprea and everyone that gives their heart and soul to Saprea for renewing in me the faith I had lost. I know have a lot of work to do, but I now know that healing is possible. Thank you for everything. You have changed my life.

-Jenny, Survivor

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Michelle, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and is more than a statistic.

I Get to Define Me, Not a Number in a Statistic

I am a survivor. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am hope. I am love. I am an encouragement to other women. These words get to define me, not a number in a statistic!

One of the best takeaways from the Saprea Retreat was the affirmations. I find that when I do these I feel empowered, strong, undefeated, and I feel better about who I am! When you speak truth to yourself your whole mindset changes. You change into bringing out the best of who you already are! You are speaking these truths into your mind, heart, and soul. Affirmations bring you back to the present and help keep you focused!

I am forever grateful to have been able to attend the Saprea Retreat and get started on being me!

-Michelle, Survivor

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Amber, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and her story has helped others.

My Healing Has Helped Others

When you’re going through something difficult it’s easy to lose focus. The big picture isn’t clear yet and that can be very discouraging.

When I look back at all the things I’ve endured and survived and the people who have made a mark on my life, I can see that they have put me where I am now. I have the experience and compassion to do what I feel I am here to do in helping others.

By having the experiences, I have had, I can relate to a vast number of people and can offer them the tools to fix the broken pieces in their lives. Much like the kintsugi bowls that are broken and glued back together with gold so that the imperfections are embraced and beautiful. When someone holds open that door for you please remember to hold it open for the next person.

Thank you to Saprea for hosting me at the Saprea Retreat and for giving me a door and tools. It came at a time in my life that was much needed and renewed my strength and faith and love in myself.

-Amber, Survivor

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Sarah, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and jumped in with both feet.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Jump in with Both Feet

It’s been almost a year since I attended the Saprea Retreat. I couldn’t even begin to imagine my life without such an incredible opportunity.

One of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done, was venturing out on my own for the first time in my life and knowing that I would be in the presence of multiple other women and a number of therapists that would all know one thing about me…that I was sexually abused as a child. I had carried so much guilt, shame, anger and humiliation around with me for so many years, to the point where I had some pretty destructive coping techniques and felt as if I was the one at fault.

The ice broke almost immediately as we all made ourselves comfortable on the huge, welcoming couch. We talked about “normal” life things at first, and as the week went on, we each made closer connections and shared parts of our stories with one another. The therapists were amazing, group therapy was extremely tough, but incredibly rewarding and I finally felt like, maybe it was okay to talk about these things that had weighed so heavily on my heart. While each of us went through our own terrible trials, there was something so comforting and reassuring, knowing that each person really understood some of the things you felt and struggled with as a survivor.

Although it was a rough road at first, I now find myself wanting to open up more. Sharing my story doesn’t seem as scary as it once did, and some day soon, I really hope to be in a position to help others affected by sexual abuse.

I’ve struggled with a number of things from PTSD and depression, to negative self esteem and self harm issues. I now know those things aren’t my identity. I also know that overcoming those trials is an amazing feat, but very possible! As I’ve overcome these issues, one by one, it makes me realize just how courageous and confident I’ve become.

I will never be able to fully explain just how grateful I am to have had the opportunity to attend the retreat. Not only has it helped me gain knowledge and understanding, but it’s helped bring out my confidence and determination to work through the things that have caused so much pain. It’s nice to finally view myself as a survivor, and to share that empowering word with seven other brave and outstanding women!

The Saprea Retreat helped me take my life back! Sometimes you just gotta jump in with both feet!

-Sarah, Survivor

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Michelle, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat because her life only seemed amazing on the outside.

On the Outside My Life Was Amazing

I had shared my story with only three people in my life, and was encouraged to apply for the Saprea Retreat by my cousin. I did so with confidence that I would not ever get the opportunity to participate. Then I got the call! I sat in disbelief. However, I knew that I needed to do this—for my family and for me.

I had been in such a dark place for so long that I wasn’t sure how much longer I could continue to walk through this life not feeling anything. The day that I decided to go, was a day that I was changed forever.

On the outside my life was amazing! I have a great job, a wonderful husband, and amazing kids! I had just completed my masters. But on the inside, I was dead. There was nothing left of me. I was just a shell going through the motions of having a great life. There were no feelings—the retreat, the staff, the sisters I made—changed all of that for me.

Walking through the door on that first day I was filled with nerves, I was sure that this had been a mistake! But then I was greeted by my caseworker, and there was such an immediate sense of love that you can’t help but feel a little more at ease. That feeling of love and peace grew, I began to feel safe and then something in me shifted. I felt not only love, but acceptance, and in that love and acceptance there was a sense that I wasn’t alone, and never would feel alone again! I found in that moment that I could speak my truth, that I could find peace, and that I could face those things that had been hidden for so long.

Feeling like I had taken the first step in a long overdue recovery was incredibly empowering. I felt worthy, I felt that I mattered. That there was a better way to live. And I deserved to enjoy my life.

I am finally free of the guilt and shame that I have carried for too long. Being at the retreat helped me to see that I have value! That I am beautiful!

I was given tools to understand myself, my triggers and my emotions are better as I navigate this journey of healing. I feel empowered to be brave and to fight for the person I deserve to be.

-Michelle, Survivor

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Stephanie, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat after she decided to live her life to the fullest.

It Is Time to Live My Life to the Fullest

I can’t believe that a year ago this month, I applied for the Saprea Retreat not knowing I would be lucky enough to attend. If there was anything that I could give all of the survivors out there, it would be the opportunity to attend the Saprea Retreat.

I gained 15 sisters who, unfortunately, have the same thing in common with me. But the most important thing is, I found myself. had no idea who I was until I began driving back to Texas and soaking everything in. I was able to return home and be Stephanie.

The Stephanie that was created 34 years ago to do something great. I am no longer ashamed and I am no longer silent. I was silent 17 years. I now stand at the top of the mountain that we are not at fault, we deserve to he heard, to be loved, to matter. I learned so much while there, and realized so much was tied to my trauma and I had no idea. If you are on the fence about going, don’t be. GO!

Let this change your life like it has changed mine. I came home and started EMDR therapy, I have been raising awareness in my local community, and I plan to bring awareness to our nation.

I could never repay Saprea for what they have done for me and my family. I am a better wife, a better mom, a better person. All I can do is give back and encourage others to go spend the best 4 days of your life surrounding yourself with others who will be your sisters for the rest of your life and have your back when you need it the most.

There aren’t words to describe how wonderful the staff is and the home is like something you could only dream of. Go take your life back. This life is amazing and I can’t wait to live it to the fullest!

-Stephanie, Survivor

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Carrie, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat because she never felt worthy of her life.

I Never Felt Worthy of My Life

I was able to attend the Saprea Retreat in April. This is a day that I will never forget. I was so ready to find my voice but did not know how or where to start. At the age of 46, I had never talked about my abuse.

I am a wife, mother of four, mother-in-law, Mumzie, daughter, sister, and a cosmetologist, but never felt worthy of my life. People would look at me and say I want your life. I would just think if you only really knew! (I do know I have a good life)

The morning of April 18th as I walked through this amazing door into the most beautiful house I knew my life would be changed forever. I finally felt free! I felt the peace that I had been looking for! I knew I was in the right place at the right time for me to start my healing journey.

I could finally validate the little girl inside of me. The staff that greeted me were so kind and genuine. I had never had so many strangers connect with me and want to see the best for me and my family. I was educated for the next four days about why I do the things I do; how come I think the way I do. Now, I have the ability to change those negative thoughts and feelings!

I learned how to find my voice! I made some goals and wrote them down. I put into action the lessons I learned to help me be the best I can be! I can say I am happier today because I took a leap of faith and trusted Saprea! I will never be able to express to the Maxfields and to all their staff how thankful I am for what they do everyday to help others reclaim hope!

Carrie, Survivor

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Stephanie, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat because she wasn't sure how to find herself worthy.

I Wasn’t Sure How to Find Myself Worthy

Before walking through the doors of the Saprea Retreat I was running very short on hope and felt I would have to live with so much hurt and disappointment. I wasn’t sure how to find myself worthy. I felt so disconnected with my body and relationships because I really have no support system.

I instantly bonded with my new sisterhood like no other women in my life, because they know, and they have been there. The staff genuinely cares for each of you and not a detail was missed. Going through the classes and exercises showed me I am normal and helped me validate a lot of my feelings and thoughts. It was a very healing experience that pushed me to seek further help, to utilize the amazing tools, but most of all, grow confidence to practice self-care.

Truth really does set us free, and if our wings are clipped, then how shall we fly? I could never express enough gratitude to the Maxfields and all those involved, but I can help others reclaim their hope.

-Stephanie, Survivor

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