June 30, 2016

I Know Who I Am and I Am Beautiful

“For 26 years I kept my secret. I kept my shame. I never believed I was worthy of anything. Love, friendship, acceptance.

Then I saw a video of a stranger sharing her “fight song” and I realized, I didn’t have to live like that anymore. That video pushed me to take my first step in the journey to healing. Fast forward one year and I’m still taking steps. Some forward, some backwards, some sideways, but still taking one step at a time. One moment at a time.

Last week, I went to the Haven retreat, I’ve tried to figure out how to express what happened there, but the words don’t do it justice. I have NEVER felt the ability to let my guard down so quickly with ANYONE, let alone a group of strangers. But that’s the thing, they weren’t strangers, they are sisters.

Yes, it was an ugly thing that brought us to that place, but there, in that house, the scars became beautiful. They became reminders that what tried to kill me, DID NOT succeed.

I can never express how much I appreciate the time I had there, the friends I made, the truths I discovered. All I can say really is that now I KNOW who I am and that I am beautiful even with those scars.

I’m a palm tree, so let the storm rage, because my roots go deep.”

Tammy, Survivor