I grew up being told I was crazy and that I made up things, so I believed it and felt like I couldn’t trust my own memories. I realized at age 11 that I wanted to die, and I didn’t think I even had the ability to live a normal life. I hated myself and my body and started a lifelong battle against eating disorders, self-harm, depression, and chemical abuse. I did anything to numb and keep the pain buried away.
Thankfully, my life was saved when I attended a spiritual recovery program. I am forever grateful for how that helped me to spiritually heal. I was a different, and freer person because of it. After that program, my repressed memories from my childhood sexual abuse came on stronger and more often than ever before, and I wasn’t sure how else to help myself.
I loved life and was doing better than ever before, and yet my mind and body were in a constant fight from things that were still unresolved from the abuse. It brought back so much of the fear and anxiety and PTSD symptoms. I continued to feel disconnected from myself.
I started counseling and EMDR, and my therapist told me about The Haven Retreat. I was hesitant that 4 days could make a difference with all the recovery I had done already – but I am so glad I went. The retreat was the catalyst for me to start attending a trauma-sensitive yoga class, and with the combined efforts of the yoga and counseling, I am fully free.
My body and mind no longer feel disconnected. I am on the other side of the abuse. I’m not a victim and it no longer controls my present or future. I’m grateful for everyone and everything that has been a part of my healing journey. It took time and patience to be where I’m at now, and I’m glad I didn’t give up in the most hopeless of moments. There has been such life and joy and abundance on the other side. Never give up, and never stop reaching out for the help you need.