Every survivor of childhood sexual abuse has a different story. Every person deals with it differently, and everyone finds healing in their way. This blog is about a survivor, but not just one survivor. This is a combination of stories from several of survivors of childhood sexual abuse. These feelings and experiences are common among survivors. If you’ve faced any of the feelings described in this blog, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
It’s been a long journey of healing. I went from not being able to be in a committed relationship, to finding someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I went from sabotaging all my best efforts at work, to starting my own company. I went from being ashamed of being a survivor, to sharing my healing journey with others.
I’ll continue to do that, too. I am looking to the future in a way that I never have before. I can see it so clearly – and it’s amazing! I am making plans and goals. I am sharing my hope. I’m happy! I laugh now, as often as I can, and I never used to laugh.
When I look back to the abused little girl I was and the broken woman I became, my heart floods with compassion. I didn’t deserve what happened to me. No one deserves that. But it happened. And I had two choices: I could either deal with it or I could ignore it.
I ignored it for years and years and years. I ignored it and nothing changed.
So, I faced it. It was tough, but so am I. There were days when I didn’t think I could spend one more second inside my own head, but I kept going. I found love and support, important things for any journey.
For too long I thought I was alone. I don’t want anyone else to feel like that. So, I share my story. I share my hope. And, yes, I share my laughter. Because as the incomparable Maya Angelou has said (who was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse herself): “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
As I get better, I do better. As I heal myself, I look for ways to heal others. As I find joy and laughter, I share it with the world. I was broken, but I am healing, and I will never stop sharing my hope.
Healing from the impact of sexual abuse is a journey. For more information about how you can find healing, please refer to Reclaim Hope, a free e-book available on our resources page. Also, you can read more about the journey of survivors at: I Was Abused, Broken, and Lost and I Am Talking, Writing, and Healing.