I Let My Doubt Fade into Peace
There was a moment, not that long after I walked through the front door, where I just had to stand still and silent for a moment and let myself feel it all. The unknown usually feels pretty scary to me but oddly, I didn’t feel scared. The feeling that first hit me was a feeling that seems to be without words to describe it. It was like all these people were really new to me, but I’d known them forever.
The house was a house I’d never been in, but it felt like home. The energy was in full swing, but it was calm. Every doubt I had, every insecurity I felt, every single thing I’d worried about simply went away. All of those worries were replaced with a desire to just take it all in. Take in the education, the beauty, the amazing opportunity I’d been given, but mostly to take in the love.
Oh my gosh, the love. It’s a heart, soul and brain filling kind of love that seems to come from really long lasting friendships or relationships that develop over time, but for me, it happened on Day 1 of the Retreat. The relationships I formed with my new sisters are lifelong relationships, the kinds that come from mutual respect, love, admiration, and desire to really love another person.
These women are not victims, they are the bravest survivors you’ll ever meet, trust me. Every person who’s ever had their life changed by childhood sexual abuse, should find themselves in the arms of these survivors. You’ll find strength, resilience, bravery, humor, and you’ll find love.