Not Living in the Drama: Getting Used to a Life Outside Fight, Flight, or Freeze
If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.
When you live with trauma, you often live much of your life in a hyper-aroused state. This means that you are constantly stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. Starting the healing process calms that constant stress, and real life can sometimes feel a little, well, boring.
One survivor was talking about how she felt like a warrior as she was battling her anxiety, her triggers, and her past demons. But once those things had diminished to a manageable state, she sat back and said her life felt strange.
She looked around and thought, “Is this all there is?” Although she had fought so hard for the life she had, in a way she felt a void when the constant battle was gone. This made her feel discouraged. She didn’t WANT to live in a constant state of “drama,” but it was what she’d known for so long.
This is something that many survivors can relate to, unfortunately. It doesn’t make you ungrateful, or a drama queen, or a victim. Change is hard for everyone, and it will take some time to adjust.
Here are three ways to adjust to your new life outside of flight, flight, or freeze impulses:
1. Find a new battle.
Have you always wanted to try something but never had the strength, courage, time, etc.? Now is the perfect time to take on a new challenge that can enhance your everyday life. Read a book about it, watch a video, or take a class.
2. Help someone else who is struggling.
Sometimes the best thing that you can do is share your healing journey with someone else. Tell them your story and listen to theirs. Offer your support and let them know they are not alone.
3. Create a positive declaration about change.
When you wake up say out loud, “My life is changing for the better.” Or after you brush your teeth you can say, “I embrace change.” Find a positive declaration that feels right for you and utilize it when you need it.
Your healing journey is not a straight line. There are going to be bumps and turns and difficulties along the way. Not all difficulties can be defeated. Some need to be embraced. Embrace the new, healing, changing you.