Survivors may associate sexual arousal with feelings of shame and guilt, especially if they experienced sexual arousal during their abuse. Even though such responses are natural and do not in any way mean the survivor consented to or enjoyed the abuse, it can be difficult for survivors to untangle feelings of shame and betrayal from feelings of sexual pleasure and intimacy. This shame that continues into adulthood can feel like a barrier that hinders a survivor’s enjoyment of or participation in sexual activities. It may impact how a survivor perceives their body, as well as their wants and needs as a sexual being. It can impact current relationships, experiences, and the type of affection a survivor feels they are deserving of.

It also is common for survivors of sexual abuse to experience disinterest in sexual activity. Sometimes survivors, despite romantic interest and commitment, may feel triggered by activities or environments that remind them of the circumstances surrounding the abuse. Other survivors experience pain and/or discomfort during intercourse (often referred to as vaginismus) which may be related to the limbic system’s efforts to protect the body from trauma by responding with physiological cues (like pain).

Other survivors may feel nothing at all during intercourse, experiencing an emotional numbness. In more serious situations, survivors may dissociate altogether. In these instances, a survivor may feel so disconnected from their mind and body that they lose time during intercourse, unable to remember what happened or how long they dissociated. Some survivors may also experience dissociation to such a severe degree that they feel as though they have left their body and are watching the intercourse take place from a third-person point of view.

Again, such unwanted and disruptive responses are often due to the limbic system being triggered by something in your environment or circumstance associated with your past abuse. You may even be triggered by your sexual partner during intercourse, despite them being someone you fully trust and feel entirely safe with. Whatever the trigger may be, the alarmed limbic system will want to protect you from further danger by placing distance between yourself and the situation you are in, even if that situation is one you were willing and excited to enjoy.

Still other survivors may feel like sex is required to be loved, or that their bodies are the only thing they have to offer in a relationship. They may focus on and frequently participate in risky sexual behaviors (often referred to as “hypersexual”).