Stephanie, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat because she wasn't sure how to find herself worthy.

I Wasn’t Sure How to Find Myself Worthy

Before walking through the doors of the Saprea Retreat I was running very short on hope and felt I would have to live with so much hurt and disappointment. I wasn’t sure how to find myself worthy. I felt so disconnected with my body and relationships because I really have no support system.

I instantly bonded with my new sisterhood like no other women in my life, because they know, and they have been there. The staff genuinely cares for each of you and not a detail was missed. Going through the classes and exercises showed me I am normal and helped me validate a lot of my feelings and thoughts. It was a very healing experience that pushed me to seek further help, to utilize the amazing tools, but most of all, grow confidence to practice self-care.

Truth really does set us free, and if our wings are clipped, then how shall we fly? I could never express enough gratitude to the Maxfields and all those involved, but I can help others reclaim their hope.

-Stephanie, Survivor

Interested in Attending Saprea Retreat?

two women wearing jackets and sitting on a wall looking at a forest

Addiction and Living in the Present

Awareness, one of the Five Strategies to Reclaim Hope, means being grounded in the present moment. So what does that mean to a trauma survivor with an addiction?

There are two types of pain in recovery work – the pain of self-mastery or the pain of regret. You have to choose, moment by moment and day by day, which pain you want to experience. It’s as simple and as hard as that. The pain of regret, like when you’ve relapsed into your addictive behaviors, is uncomfortable and debilitating. It’s reactionary. The pain of self-mastery, in contrast, is a refining and advancing type of pain. It’s proactive. It’s the type of pain, like sore muscles, that leads to greater strength.

Awareness can help you choose the right type of pain. If you are grounded in the present moment, not depressed about the past or anxious about the future, you can make the choice more easily to choose self-mastery.

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.Eckhart Tolle

Slowing down is an important part of Awareness. If you get too caught up in rushing around from one thing to the next, how can you enjoy the present? Life will be exhausting if you’re always moving with no destination in sight. With Awareness, you can focus on one step in front of the other to reach the goal that you’re seeking – freedom from addiction.

How can you use Awareness in your everyday life?
When you feel yourself wanting the thing that you’re addicted to, be it food, drugs, alcohol, etc., stop and recognize the emotions behind it. Take a few centering breaths to fully ground yourself in the now. Realize that you have a choice to make. You may not always make the right choice, but after becoming centered firmly in the moment it will become easier and easier.

Many trauma survivors turn to their particular addiction to dull the suffering they feel. They use it to resist or try to change their reality. Suffering can’t be dismissed or ignored. It’s real and it’s difficult. But, generally speaking, they’re treating their symptoms and not the root cause – the trauma they experienced as a child. Running from the past or hiding from the future will not help.

Instead, become fully grounded in the present moment, seek a therapist that you trust, and give yourself the choice, moment by moment and day by day, which pain you want to experience. The pain of growth or the pain of regret?

Share this Post

Your gift can support survivors and help them Reclaim Hope.

Rebecca, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat because it's about changing lives.

The Saprea Retreat is Not Just Changing Lives, but Saving Them from Childhood Trauma

I attended the Saprea Retreat in April, and my goodness was I blessed. My heart went from truly closed off and cold, to open and accepting. I gained so much from the staff, the sisters I made, and from the information I received.
Not one day has gone by that I haven’t thought about how those four days in April changed my future. My children and husband have a mom and wife who sees her worth and is now dedicating every day to finding ways to help others.

When receiving my necklace from Shelaine on the last day of the retreat I remember the moment I was able to tell her that she wasn’t just changing lives but that she was saving them. Saprea is saving so many lives. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

-Rebecca, Survivor

Interested in Attending Saprea Retreat?