Stephanie, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and trauma no longer has a grip on her.

Trauma No Longer Has Its Grip on Me

It’s been nearly a year since receiving the call that changed my life. Attending the Saprea Retreat was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Since returning I have found and used my voice to stand up for me.

I wasn’t living the life I wanted, I was living the life I thought I was supposed to be. I’ve said goodbye to the toxic relationship I was in. I would never have had the strength before to do that. I drove over a thousand miles by myself to visit family. I’ve put it off for years because I was too afraid. I’ve suffered loss and heartache since then but I’ve also found strength, confidence and true friendship with my sisterhood.

Although I’m on my own now, I’m never truly alone. My support system of fellow survivors is standing strong right beside me. I understand now how much the trauma affected my life and the damage it has done in my relationships, but it no longer has its grip on me. I’ve grown so much since then.  I am stronger, happier, and no longer weighed down with my secret. Someone once told me that you know you are healing when you can tell your story without tears. No tears are flowing as I share my story. Thank you for giving me my life back! Bless you for giving us women this incredible journey to heal.

-Stephanie, Survivor

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Stacie, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and felt human and worthy.

They Made Me Feel Human and Worthy at the Saprea Retreat

When filling out the form to go to the Saprea Retreat, I thought, “Yeah, maybe someday they’ll pick me, maybe I’ll go.” I was called in a week and they wanted me to attend the following week. A whirlwind of emotions surrounded me. No one except my husband even knew the struggles. I had hidden it under so many levels for so many years.

I am 47 years old, when I was 10, I realized the abuse was not normal and stopped going to my grandparent’s house. From ages 10 to 47, so many layers of bricks and so many rocks in my heart had been assembled. It took so much courage to even board the plane from Ohio and realize where I was going and why!

I would’ve never have guessed the healing that could take place! The Saprea Retreat gave me peace. The counselors made me feel human and worthy. The other ladies who attended were so welcoming. Just knowing that we shared trauma brought us so close. I made lifelong friends, a support system that I’ve never had. The growth and the acceptance of myself has made such a difference in how I carry myself and those boulders that held me back are now mere rubble that I can foresee will one day be sand.

-Stacie, Survivor

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Patricia, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and her past doesn't define her.

My Past Doesn’t Define Who I Am

The Saprea Retreat saved me in so many ways. I can honestly say when I arrived at the Saprea Retreat I was truly scared. Not because of where I was, but the fear of what I was going to feel. I have numbed myself for years, not wanting to deal with my trauma.

I learned it’s okay to have a past, but it does NOT define who I am. I am NOT a victim. I am a Survivor, a Warrior, I AM ENOUGH. On the last day, I was sad to leave, I had this inner peace inside me. It was the first time in a long time that I could feel again. I am forever thankful for what I learned, who I met, and finding myself–loving myself.

-Patricia, Survivor

Interested in Attending Saprea Retreat?

The Role of Exercise in Your Healing Journey

It seems anytime you talk about exercise you’re supposed to talk about weight loss. That’s the primary benefit, right? This is actually false. For a survivor of child sexual abuse, exercise has myriad benefits (and weight loss isn’t even one of them).

When you take the time to practice self-care, that includes finding a way to exercise regularly. That can be overwhelming–especially with the glut of information out there about the “best” way to do pretty much anything and everything.

Before we give you 5 Easy Tips to Exercise Every Day, let’s start by listing the health benefits of daily exercise (for even more information on this, read the book Body Kindness by Rebecca Scritchfield):

  • Increased happiness
  • More energy
  • A greater connection to your body (especially important for a survivor)
  • Better sleep
  • Improved memory
  • Increased self-confidence
  • Less stress
  • Alleviated anxiety
  • Greater creativity
  • Decreased cognitive decline

With so many benefits, what’s stopping you from exercising every day? It probably has something to do with time, energy, confusion of where to start, or something else along those lines. Here are 5 EASY tips for exercising every day:

01
MAKE IT FUN
When did we stop thinking that exercise could be fun? Find something that you love doing, even if you’re not great at it. Try roller skating, aerial silks, take a tango class, or just play tag with your kids outside. Whatever you decide to do, make it fun!
02
DO IT EVERY DAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW LONG
Consistency is key. Even if you only exercise 10 minutes a day, you’ll see the benefits.
03
BE MINDFUL
Use this time to check in with your body. Don’t just go through the motions; really feel your body moving and flexing and stretching. Listen to your heartbeat and pay attention to your breathing.
04
IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED..
Don’t give up. If you miss a day, an exercise doesn’t help, or you find yourself being triggered by something, make adjustments. Don’t give up on exercising altogether. Try something different, commit again, just keep trying.
05
SCHEDULE IT
If you don’t make time for something, you’ll never have time for it. When you’re planning your day, formally or informally, decide when and where you’re going to exercise. It can be as simple as, “I’m going to take the stairs back up to the 6th floor after lunch at work today.”

Exercise will be an incredible help on your healing journey. Take the time to make it a priority, along with your other self-care practices. Make the goal feeling better, not looking better, and you might find that your relationship with exercise changes in a positive way. It’s worth a try, right?

Please note:
One of the links above leads to Amazon. As an Amazon Affiliate, The Younique Foundation gets a small commission when you buy from these links. This is a way to support our cause at no extra cost to you.

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Paria, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and accepted her identity.

Accepting Your Identity as a Survivor Is Everything

My name is Paria and I am a survivor. I didn’t fully believe that before I arrived at the Saprea Retreat. But, I now know it. I was so nervous before flying in, but once I arrived there was a sense of calm, and it was so difficult to leave. I recommend this place for anyone who feels even the slightest that they need some help regrading their childhood sexual abuse. WHATEVER it might have been, you are worth this retreat.

-Paria, Survivor

Interested in attending Saprea Retreat?

two people holding hands in a sunny day

Survivors and Sexual Intimacy

If you’re involved in a relationship with a sexual abuse survivor, there might be moments when you don’t know exactly how you can be most helpful in her recovery. Uncertainty about how to help is especially likely to arise when it comes to the most intimate aspects of your relationship, like sexual activity. You want to have a healthy sexual relationship with your partner, a relationship that leads to well-being and continued healing, but what does this look like?

To help understand the survivor perspective, consider that, for a survivor, her initial sexual experiences happened when she was being threatened, coerced, or manipulated. She wasn’t in a situation where she was able to fully understand what was going on and give consent. Due to these negative experiences, sex and trauma can be strongly linked in her brain. This connection isn’t something a survivor can just forget about or disregard. A supportive partner can be a key part of healing. Here are some specific things you can do to foster a healthy sexual relationship:

Focus on Intimacy, Not Just Sex

Intimacy involves deeply knowing and trusting someone. Survivors often have difficulty trusting people, especially if the perpetrator of abuse was a trusted individual like a close friend or family member. Spend time building intimacy with your partner. Focus on both physical and emotional intimacy. Build physical intimacy through activities like holding hands, giving massages, or just sitting together to watch a movie. Emotional intimacy can come from genuine conversations about feelings, hopes, dreams, and worries. Strong physical and emotional intimacy can lead to a healthier and more satisfying sexual relationship for both partners.

Recognize That Sex Can Be a Trigger

A trigger is something that sparks a memory and reminds people of a traumatic event. Triggers can make a survivor experience a flashback where she feels like abuse is happening again. Unfortunately, sex can be a trigger for many survivors. If you notice that your partner is beginning to shut down or experience anxiety during sex, it could mean that she no longer feels safe. Maybe her triggers include certain positions, sexual acts, places, or smells that you should avoid. Recognize that sex is an activity you will need to approach with care and understanding.

Communicate

One of the keys to the success of your relationship is frequent and open communication. Discuss what is acceptable and what is off-limits when it comes to sex. Your goal here isn’t to explore past trauma in graphic detail. Your goal is to establish what will make her feel safe and comfortable. A survivor might feel like she’s ready for sexual intercourse but then changes her mind. If your partner ever says she wants to stop what you’re doing, then stop. Continuing to have sex will only damage your relationship and possibly make it more difficult to be intimate in the future.

Survivors need to build trust with their sexual partners and feel like they are in charge of their sexual experiences. Focus on ways that you can make sex a safe activity that will empower the survivor in your life and strengthen our sexuality to get healthy.

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Kim, a survivor of child sexual abuse, attended The Haven Retreat and took that leap of faith.

Take the Leap of Faith

Saprea. A year ago, I had no clue what those three words would mean to me. A friend of mine posted a link to apply to the Saprea Retreat. I took it as a sign. A sign to reopen the wound and clean it out, again.

I was hesitant at first because surely there were other women who could use the experience more than me. I was functioning in life, had two beautiful children, a supportive husband. I had been in and out of counseling for years. Currently, my life was “together” enough to get through day-to-day. I decided to apply anyway because if I didn’t qualify they would surely let me know.

But that’s not what happened. Instead, I got a phone call to arrange my attendance. I was terrified. I didn’t know anyone who had been to this place or even HEARD of it. I took a leap of faith, and it was well worth it. I am not an overly emotional person. I tend to hide my feelings, but after four short days, I was crying saying goodbye to everyone. The house and staff were so welcoming and helpful, from dietary restrictions to accommodating a nursing mother (two actually during our retreat!). Every day I wish I could go back. If you’re on the fence, take this as your sign, you’re worth it.

-Kim, Survivor

Interested in Attending Saprea Retreat?