When filling out the form to go to the Saprea Retreat, I thought, “Yeah, maybe someday they’ll pick me, maybe I’ll go.” I was called in a week and they wanted me to attend the following week. A whirlwind of emotions surrounded me. No one except my husband even knew the struggles. I had hidden it under so many levels for so many years.

I am 47 years old, when I was 10, I realized the abuse was not normal and stopped going to my grandparent’s house. From ages 10 to 47, so many layers of bricks and so many rocks in my heart had been assembled. It took so much courage to even board the plane from Ohio and realize where I was going and why!

I would’ve never have guessed the healing that could take place! The Saprea Retreat gave me peace. The counselors made me feel human and worthy. The other ladies who attended were so welcoming. Just knowing that we shared trauma brought us so close. I made lifelong friends, a support system that I’ve never had. The growth and the acceptance of myself has made such a difference in how I carry myself and those boulders that held me back are now mere rubble that I can foresee will one day be sand.

-Stacie, Survivor

The Saprea Retreat saved me in so many ways. I can honestly say when I arrived at the Saprea Retreat I was truly scared. Not because of where I was, but the fear of what I was going to feel. I have numbed myself for years, not wanting to deal with my trauma.

I learned it’s okay to have a past, but it does NOT define who I am. I am NOT a victim. I am a Survivor, a Warrior, I AM ENOUGH. On the last day, I was sad to leave, I had this inner peace inside me. It was the first time in a long time that I could feel again. I am forever thankful for what I learned, who I met, and finding myself–loving myself.

-Patricia, Survivor

My name is Paria and I am a survivor. I didn’t fully believe that before I arrived at the Saprea Retreat. But, I now know it. I was so nervous before flying in, but once I arrived there was a sense of calm, and it was so difficult to leave. I recommend this place for anyone who feels even the slightest that they need some help regrading their childhood sexual abuse. WHATEVER it might have been, you are worth this retreat.

-Paria, Survivor

Saprea. A year ago, I had no clue what those three words would mean to me. A friend of mine posted a link to apply to the Saprea Retreat. I took it as a sign. A sign to reopen the wound and clean it out, again.

I was hesitant at first because surely there were other women who could use the experience more than me. I was functioning in life, had two beautiful children, a supportive husband. I had been in and out of counseling for years. Currently, my life was “together” enough to get through day-to-day. I decided to apply anyway because if I didn’t qualify they would surely let me know.

But that’s not what happened. Instead, I got a phone call to arrange my attendance. I was terrified. I didn’t know anyone who had been to this place or even HEARD of it. I took a leap of faith, and it was well worth it. I am not an overly emotional person. I tend to hide my feelings, but after four short days, I was crying saying goodbye to everyone. The house and staff were so welcoming and helpful, from dietary restrictions to accommodating a nursing mother (two actually during our retreat!). Every day I wish I could go back. If you’re on the fence, take this as your sign, you’re worth it.

-Kim, Survivor

I do not have many childhood memories that are filled with joy, laughter or a sense of normalcy. My earliest memory of abuse is at age 5. From that time forward, my mind and heart needed to find something that I could relate too, feel safe, find a connection. At my darkest time in life my horses, dogs and cats were my family, my safety, my reason in life. I dreamt I was Cinderella, and I found solace with the animals as she did. They needed me as much as I needed them. I found my purpose. Luckily, over the years, my life has revolved around my two and four legged family.

As I grew up, I stopped dreaming of being Cinderella until, the day I pulled into the long wooded snowy driveway at Saprea Retreat. Upon leaving my home, I was in absolute fear. Walking into the airport, I almost turned back. Something pulled me and said have faith. Face your Fear. You can do this. And, I did!

Upon arriving at the Saprea Retreat, we were met by two massive doors that would change my life. They were the doors to healing, strength, acceptance, and best of all, I was surrounded by women who were just like me. I was not an outsider for the first time in my life. I looked into their eyes and I saw myself in many ways. I silently felt comfort and a very strange sense of peace.

Over those four days we spent together learning, sharing, growing, it was exhausting, emotional yet exhilarating, powerful, and strengthening. These women are, and will always remain, the bravest sisters in my life. We are connected. We are Warriors. Its okay to be who we are.

I never thought I would have had the chance to say, I felt like Cinderella again. Not the Cinderella locked away with abuse, but the ballroom-dancing, joyful, beautiful Cinderella. Thank you to everyone who helped me live my dreams again.

-Katrine, Survivor

I was never afraid to tell someone I was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, but the effects of it lived inside of me and affected all areas of my life. I suffered from depression and alcohol abuse for years and numbed myself to survive.

I only recently realized that life is so much more than what was done to me, that I am worthy of life.  I am a survivor.  I was so lucky to attend the Saprea Retreat. I learned I am not alone.  I feel like I am walking through a waterfall and being cleansed. When I walk through to the other side, I will see the total transformation of what life has to offer and what I have to offer others.  We are survivors and strong.  We are brave and worthy to stand in the full sunshine of all that life has to offer.  I can see that now, and I no longer have to hide in darkness.

-Ann, Survivor

I was apprehensive about embarking on the healing journey offered by the Saprea Retreat. I thought that since everything had happened so long ago that maybe I really did not need it or deserve it. There were a million reasons that ran through my mind–all seeming to resist fitting the last puzzle piece in place for me.

Once I arrived at the Saprea Retreat, I immediately knew I was definitely in the exact place I needed to be. All of us were on our own individual journeys, but we all had this unmistakable bond from the very first second. It was almost as if we all finally felt like we could take off the mask and breathe.

The education, hope, healing, and sisterhood we all gained while at the Saprea Retreat will last a lifetime. Everything that was poured into us with such love by every single staff member set us all on a path to continued healing. I have never had so much self-confidence and ability to finally love myself as I now have. It has had a positive impact on all my relationships, especially my marriage.

I now have a dream to begin a program quite similar to the Saprea Retreat where I live. There are so many hurting ladies in this world who truly need all that was provided there.

If you are not sure whether you should go… my ONLY regret was that I waited. It is such a beautiful experience.

-Candace, Survivor

I spent most of my life afraid that if people really knew me they would hate me as much as I hated myself. I felt broken and alone. I hated dating because, eventually, you had to have “that” conversation.

Slowly I began to realize no one hated me, but me. I took one small step to start loving myself. I picked one thing that I liked about myself. My eyes. I wrote why I liked my eyes, described them and drew them.

Without that step so many years ago I would never have loved myself enough to even apply to attend the Saprea Retreat. It was there that I learned why I react to things the way I do and how to not live with it, but move past it. I left the last day with something I needed so desperately… Hope. Hope that one day my past will be behind me. Hope that panic and anxiety won’t win forever. Hope that my life can be better with the truth that I am worth the effort.

-Amy, Survivor

I didn’t even realize how many aspects of my life were affected by my trauma until recently. It has been 20 years and I feel like I am further on my healing journey now than ever before thanks to the retreat offered by Saprea.

I had the amazing opportunity to attend the retreat. It was life changing!! You are not required to talk about your trauma at all, though I did feel comfortable doing so as the week went on. I was bonded to these ladies from the get go just knowing that we all had experienced this horrible trauma in our life and the relationships we built in 4 days are unbelievable to me.

I have sisters for life that have my back and remind me that I am strong and I am brave and I am capable and I am beautiful, I am loved and I AM WORTHY! The entire retreat is focused around reclaiming hope and it helped me do just that. The staff is amazing and I have never felt so safe. I realized things about myself that I never even thought about before. The entire experience was amazing and I left there a better person, wife and mother!!

For some of us, the trauma was more fresh in nature and for some it had been almost 50 years, but that didn’t matter, we all walked away with something and every one of us are now on a better path to healing. I can’t thank Saprea enough for giving me this opportunity to learn about myself, to grow and to recognize my true potential. My life is forever changed!

-Michelle, Survivor

Because of the Saprea Retreat, I have found a way to jump start my healing. I realized I am not alone and have learned not to be ashamed of what happened.

I finally have the tools to help myself and live a life free of fear. I also got to meet seven other women whom I have an amazing connection with, they are my soul sisters who encourage me every single day to heal, to live a full life, remind me that I am beautiful and strong when I feel weak. This retreat is truly a life changing experience that I am so so thankful for.

-Hailey, Survivor