I have survived so much, including attempts on my life, yet sharing my story is perhaps the most frightening and vulnerable thing I have ever done. I was told to protect the family secret at all costs, that to speak up would mean losing my family, my roots, and my life. Attending the Saprea Retreat 11 months ago gave me a new family of strong survivor sisters. I learned to ground myself and to reconnect to my roots, to honor my own survival skills and resilience as proof of hope and faith at work in my life.

By sharing my story, I am finally free of my past and my family’s chains of shame. I forgive, let go, and move on. By forgiving I am freeing myself to be fully present and to allow hope to fill those empty spaces so I may continue to thrive.

Spending a few days in luxury at the Saprea Retreat, I learned I deserve indoor plumbing, good healthy food, friends, and a supportive family of my choice.

Thank you for giving me the tools to find my own roots and wings and voice. The healing effect continues long after our short time at the Saprea Retreat. Thank you for giving me a space to share my story without judgement. Thank you, Saprea and survivor sisters for being here for me. I am forever grateful.

-Heather, Survivor

Before attending the Saprea Retreat, I was living life as if I were alone in a crowded room. I have family and friends who love and support me dearly, but no one really knew what I had been through. No one could look me in the eye and understand the darkness, the shame, and the unbearable pain of what I was going through from the sexual abuse I experienced.

I learned a lot of valuable information and skills that have helped me understand my reaction, reconnect with my body, and cope with my past. Nothing prepared me for the overwhelming love, support, and connections I made from the other women who were brave enough and willing to be vulnerable with me. These women stood beside me, cried with me, laughed with me, and shared with me their beauty and helped me start to see mine. I am forever grateful to them and the staff at the Saprea Retreat.

I’m now taking the time to get to know myself again, more fully than ever before. I’m discovering that who I’ve wanted to be is who I am, it’s who I’ve always been. It was never stolen from me but lost deep inside and I’m beginning to search for it. For years, I have been silenced by my past, from the pain and shame of what I had experienced. I will no longer silence myself. I have a voice, and I have discovered the power of using it. There is strength when you discover that your story doesn’t have a horrific ending. I’m not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. I choose to be a Survivor!

-Kenzie, Survivor

I sit here looking and thinking of how Saprea Retreat helped me. Thinking of what to say. The problem is not that I cannot think of anything. It’s that there are so many and some I can’t even explain. I have RECLAIMED HOPE!

I don’t feel like a lost cause or that I am not enough. I am enough, and I am something. I matter to my family and to God. I’m so grateful to Saprea for saving my life. I’m not just a lost lonely soul passing through. I’m so much more. I have hope to become more. More for myself. More for my family. More for other women that need help. I feel like so much was taken away from me. Now my wings are restored and I’m ready to fly. Thank you for showing me that I’m the brightest shining star in the darkness.

-Sarah, Survivor

In November 2016, I received an email with a link about the Saprea Retreat. I looked at it and thought wow I’d love to attend, but why would they accept me. I’m from Ireland. The friend that sent the link told me to apply, so I did.

Four months later I found myself sitting on a plane heading to Salt Lake City. When I got to the retreat, I was amazed by the beauty that surrounded me. That beauty was from the location, the house, and the other 23 women. I immediately had a connection and felt very at ease. The staff were all amazing.

The education and support we received was excellent. This is not just a retreat, this is life-changing. After the four days, I left the retreat a different woman. I had made lifelong friendships. I had strength and courage that I never knew I had. I could never thank Saprea enough for accepting me and giving me this life-changing experience.

If you are like me and you don’t live in America it’s fine, you will be accepted with open arms, so make that trip it will be the best journey you will ever take in your life.

-Amanda, Survivor

Saprea Retreat changed my life. I knew I needed help. I felt like I was so beyond damaged that there was no escaping the daily torture and despair. I found my chance. I found it in Utah. I understand myself.

Before, I didn’t even know where to start.  I am not afraid any longer.  I am strong. I can get better, and I strive every day. I gained a circle of friends that I will have forever. Now I can see the world through different eyes and I can face life. Thank you for every moment- every memory and every bit of HOPE that Saprea put into my heart. Change starts with me, and I found that change in Utah. I am forever in debt.

-Misty, Survivor

At the Saprea Retreat, I finally learned it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to let all those bottled emotions out. I finally found out why I have such a hard time showing my emotions and finding myself.

For many years, I thought I was okay when really, I wasn’t. It wasn’t until that last day at the retreat that I cried and I cried hard. Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse did, in fact, take a toll on me.

While attending the retreat I was finally able to see what the abuse did to my brain, and how much of an impact it really had on me. Emotionally, spiritually and physically, I was damaged. It felt amazing being around other women who have been through abuse because I found out that I am not alone. I was able to bond with these women, and create a sisterhood that I will forever have. Throughout the week, I learned that I am strong, powerful, and I am worth it.

-Brittany, Survivor

Losing my innocence at the age of six and being the victim of date rape at the age of 15 was something I hid from everyone who knew me. I always felt as if I was to blame for allowing this to happen to me. I never talked about it to anyone. I just hid it with alcohol. I could be funny, I could flirt and I could laugh with alcohol. I couldn’t do that without it. I would just hide from the world and live in depression.

Going to the retreat opened up my eyes and cleared my mind. I did not allow these things to happen to me. They were stolen from me. I got the tools I desperately needed to seek help, talk to people, and learn to love myself. I have learned I can overcome anything. I am a VICTOR and not a victim. I am courageous, strong, and a warrior.

I can share my story with others hoping to help one lady out there who is living in darkness like I was. Saprea saved my life. I am reclaiming hope every single day with my new six amazing friends I made at the retreat. They are my sisters, my friends, and most of all my cheering squad! Thank you for the best four days of my life!

-Sammi, Survivor

I was at my breaking point. I had thrown all of my being into being a mom, but I had never dealt with my past. I knew I had reached a point where something had to give. So, one late night I filled out the application, not thinking I would be accepted. It was a whirlwind after that.

“The best thing that happened is she believed in herself so she could fly!”

Saprea Retreat did that for me and more. The tools it gave me to help myself and believe I am beautiful are the most important things I could have. Saprea saved me from such a dark place. It pulled me to the light. Being a survivor does not make you a victim. It does not make you weak. It makes you a warrior! And truly from then on, I have been able to fly!

-Melanie, Survivor

The thought that I was sexually abused a child was one that I never accepted in my life until the age of 31. That was not the reality of who I was. I had blocked those events completely from my brain. It was not even something I could consciously conceive to be real in my life. It took me struggling through relationships, not knowing my path in life, feeling like there was something wrong with me, etc. to realize that maybe I didn’t have it all together

You see, I went to school to be a counselor. I have sat through numerous courses, learning all about how to help other people. I’ve learned techniques for empowering others. I paid a lot of money to get to this point. And then I realized that I needed a taste of my own medicine.

As I spent time in February of 2017 reading through the book “Reclaim Hope”, after it being recommended by a friend, I found my world rocked. What really hit me the most through this experience was learning more about the two-part brain. Being able to understand more about the fact that the trauma caused me to shut down one part of my brain and that, to this day, I go back there, was eye opening. I finally felt, while reading this section of the book, that I wasn’t alone. It helped me to understand more of why my life was being lived the way it was.

In March of that same year I attended Saprea Retreat. Attending the retreat reaffirmed the fact that I am not alone in this journey. My experiences are unique but the trauma is not. This retreat also really gave me the reminder that there are legitimate reasons for why my body reacts the way it does to triggers and taught me strategies to start retraining myself.

I am now not afraid to say that I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and that this does not make me who I am. It is simply a part of me. I’m no longer ashamed to be part of the 1 in 4 statistic. Instead I’m a fighter. I’m a survivor. I’m strong. I’m whole. I’m worthy.

I have reclaimed hope!

-Beth, Survivor

I felt I was strong and could put this stuff behind me. I told myself it didn’t affect my life now. But it did. Then one day a friend posted pictures of herself, and talked about her story. I loved this friend and I cried for her. I knew her story. I could have said much of it. She told me of this place she went to get help.

I am married to a loving man. I realized that my past was affecting my marriage. I could no longer deny it, I had to get help. So, I went to the Saprea Retreat.

I know I am a woman of faith and one that has much love to give. Yet, something has always held me back. There has always been fear or maybe a wall that stopped me from moving forward. I now understand what that wall is.

I am strong! My body has constantly been on defense for years it has never fully relaxed. I attended the Muay Thai class. I knew it was going to be hard for me. The staff was right there helping me. I wasn’t going to leave until I got past the fear. As my body connected with the movement, I moved out of the past and into the present and I relaxed. I have never felt that relaxation before this trip. The other women at the retreat saw it as well and supported me.

I am healing. Saprea helped me get started. They taught me the tools to use to stay present and be grounded. I now stand strong and immovable.

-Ramona, Survivor