It’s been one whole year since going to the most amazing place to ever change my life, the Saprea Retreat. I was scared to get on that plane. Even more, I was scared to talk about my dirty little secret. I had only told people close to me. Even then it wasn’t detailed. Being told to never speak of this secret haunted me day and night.

Frightened that people would look at me as if I was dirty or a horrible person haunted me. That’s how I saw myself, they had to see me the same way. Little did I know, these ladies had similar stories. Not all were the same, but it was our story.

Since learning about how my brain functions, and how to handle the many “crazy episodes” I was having many times a day, I have opened myself up and started living, telling my story, and learning about me. I have gotten scuba certified, lost weight, watched my daughter marry her soulmate, and am just living a fuller beautiful life! You just have to take the GIANT STRIDE to be a better you.

-Leah, Survivor

Coming to the Saprea Retreat, changed my life forever. I have always been known for my smile, as it’s my way to combat the bad in my life. But now I am known for the smile in my eyes as well. No longer a lost girl.

I am renewed, I am a warrior, a sassy warrior! I stand tall and proud with my Warrior stance! I was afraid to be okay with myself, afraid to be pretty, unsure of myself.

No longer ashamed as the shame isn’t mine to carry. No longer alone, I am empowered by the beautiful women brought into my life.

We are not alone, we are enough, and we are amazing strong, intelligent, beautiful women.

Thank you for this opportunity I will forever be grateful!

-Julie, Survivor

When I first heard of the Saprea Retreat I couldn’t believe there was a place for “us,” a place where survivors of child sexual abuse could find a community and be heard. The Sunday before my flight I was beyond a wreck, all my triggers were triggered. How could I leave the safety net I had created and what if I wasn’t liked? Thankfully I had a friend of a friend who messaged me and assured me that we all feel that way and that it would be okay!

Retreat day was here, and I had heard how I would make lasting friendships and it would be wonderful. Monday didn’t feel wonderful, it felt overwhelming and oh so lonely. I watched as the younger ladies laughed and opened up immediately. I went to bed with tears wishing I was back home with my animals and the safety.

When I woke up Tuesday I told myself that I came to retreat for healing for ME and I needed to focus on that healing journey and let what happens happen. During the off-site group therapy I was honest about how lonely I was and shared my story of abuse. At lunch one of my sisters said, “I think I talked too much” and I put my head on her shoulder and assured her she didn’t. Opening up created a bond with these ladies that will forever be a part of my life.

I learned a lot about myself and why I put everyone else before myself. Baby steps to finding my worthiness. I am forever changed by the generosity of the ladies who loved on us for those 4 days and all the information that was given. Thank you so much!

-Yulonda, Survivor

For a long time I didn’t believe that I had a purpose or that God even loved me, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and I am also a product of rape. I used to tell myself that if He really did love me, I wouldn’t have this horrible start in life.

With the birth of my child, triggers about my abuse started resurfacing. I knew I couldn’t go on this way. I decided to give therapy a try. As the months went by I started to see some light, my therapist called it a “healing journey,” words so foreign to me. To love myself was the hardest part to understand. I didn’t even know what that meant much less looked like. She recommended I attend the Saprea Retreat. With a lot of fear in my heart, but with enough courage, I signed up.

To say it has changed my life is an understatement. I found myself, I found my purpose, and I found a spiritual side to me that I never knew. As well as a group of incredible, strong women who have been my support system since we left retreat and who I dearly call my soul sisters.

I would be lying if I said that my shift happened at retreat, in reality it happened back at home…with all the new skills I had learned and an undying faith to heaI, I am a generational cycle breaker! I know that it can be done with awareness and education. I want to represent the next generation because I am saying “yes” for change for all of us.

I am ready to get back out into my community to help children as well as their parents to break cycles of abuse because as a wife and mother I have broken them with patience and diligence. And to be honest, God gave me this story to advocate and I refuse to let Him down. After all, He never left me or stopped loving me. Thank you to Saprea for helping me along my journey. You guys are real Angels on Earth.

I choose to HEAL.

-Sylvia, Survivor

Someone very close to me told me I should go to this place called the Saprea Retreat! She told me how much it had helped her and how much she thought it would help me, because we have dealt with a lot of the same struggles stemming from childhood abuse. So, very nervously, I filled out the application, went through all the process, and almost talked myself out so many times. But I went and I have to say it was one of the best decisions I have made in my entire life!

There was just such a welcoming feeling there and I felt so comfortable from the moment I walked through the door. It was only four days and yet I made such strong sister-like bonds with women that I had never met until I went in there. I was given tools and a support to help me grow and to heal. I have women in my life now that I don’t know what I did without them.

The Saprea Retreat helped me in ways that I hadn’t even realized I needed! I am so grateful I was able and brave enough to go. It was so amazing and so healing! A very big step on my journey to become my best self. Thank you Saprea, you changed my life for the better!

-Sharon, Survivor

I grew up feeling alone and unwanted and broken! I didn’t think anyone would ever understand the pain I had gone through and am still going through! Once the doors opened at the Saprea Retreat you could feel the love and warmth! I was so nervous being there, but I could feel there was no room for anything but love and learning and healing.

I made a bond with the other women that were there, and I learned that we may have different stories, but we all knew and understood each other’s hurt without having to say a word. I felt safe and loved.

I didn’t know how much I actually needed to be there until I was there! Knowing that I wasn’t alone in my feelings made such a huge difference. Being at the retreat has taught, and is continuing to teach me, that I am WORTHY; I am loved and can love. It’s a journey. One I’m not done with yet, but I’m excited to continue!

-Gabby, Survivor

My trauma has definitely changed my life. But I didn’t let it keep me broken. It took many years to really start to heal. I learned I’m stronger than I thought. I learned to love myself. I learned that difficult times in our lives help us keep going. We learn who we truly are beyond what we survived.

I used to be ashamed and wouldn’t let anyone know what I had been through. I learned that sharing my story helped me heal and, amazingly, it helps other people too. I want to help others. I want them to know they too can heal and live a wonderful life.

My breakthrough moment was when I actually started loving myself. That’s when the healing became much easier. I want others to know, “You do matter, your story matters, and through your story others will find strength also.”

I may have been a victim at one time in my life. I’m not anymore. Neither am I a statistic. I’m a survivor; I’m a thriver. You can be too. You can be whoever you want to be. You can live your dreams. It all starts with some soul-searching and loving yourself. Once you start, you will start to heal. You’re stronger than your experiences. You are an amazing warrior. Be that for someone else too. Share your story!

-Christina, Survivor

Flying to a foreign country wasn’t the big deal. It was flying to a place where I would have to face my hurts that scared me. But I got there, and everyone wanted to help me, everyone wanted to KNOW how I was doing, everyone wanted me to just be…

I was the one of 23 women who made up the 109th group to go through the Saprea Retreat. A group that still keeps in contact and still shares stories with each other, 8 months later on social media. We all had secrets, we all had dark pasts, but that didn’t stop us from experiencing the love and acceptance and healing that was being provided. It didn’t stop us from growing and nurturing with one another through the processes we were presented with.

I made lifelong friends at the Saprea Retreat. I made memories that will last me a lifetime and I know they will for the other ladies that attended too. It literally, cliché or not, changed my life. Thank you Saprea!

-Brina, Survivor

I have a mantra I use: I cannot control everything that happens to me. I can only control how I react to it. With courage, self-love, and dignity for the woman I am.

It took me a long time to love me, to see that what happened to me, that I did nothing wrong. I often felt that I did something to provoke it. That is what I call the stinking thinking, I learned that I control my thoughts, one day I realized that I get to choose how my life goes. I choose happiness, self-love, and self-respect. What happened doesn’t define me, I define myself. Loving myself is the greatest love I have ever known, it’s fabulous.

-Bobbiejo, Survivor

I was told about Saprea Retreat from a friend. She said: “I know it sounds too good to be true, but trust me, I worked there and it’s real, and you won’t regret it.” Thanks to her, I signed up and drove myself to the retreat. I still don’t know how I had the courage to do so, but I did, and my friend was right, I don’t regret it.

From my arrival to the departure when I cried for leaving my sisters, it was the best experience of my life, and every contact with Saprea team made me want to stay there forever. I wish everybody was kind and empathetic like them, unfortunately that’s not the world we live in. Attending the Saprea Retreat taught me how to survive in this world.

I still have pain and nightmares, but now I have understanding and, most importantly, I am healing and becoming the better version of myself that I always dreamed of. This version of Dani is resilient, hopeful, kind, and understanding with herself. She takes it step-by-step and she knows it’s okay to sometimes not take any step at all. She also knows she’s not alone, and that she can pursue her dream career of helping others in their own journey of healing.

I hope that you will take a step and sign up because, trust me, you won’t regret it. The strength you need to overcome the bad things that happened to you are inside of you. You’re not alone, and we’re stronger together!

Stay kind and strong!

-Dani, Survivor